What to do if Your Ex is Still in the Picture

"Your present girlfriend will soon become your ex if you continue this"

“Your present girlfriend will soon become your ex if you continue this”


It’s not unusual to remain friends with an ex-girlfriend. A lot of the time failed relationships grow into friendships. This can become a problem when you start dating a new woman. Women want to know that they’re the only one in your life, so if you still talk regularly to an old flame, she’s not going to be happy. It might become such a big problem that she gives you an ultimatum: it’s her or the ex. In that case you’re going to have to decide which is more important to you. If you’d really like to stay friends with your ex AND keep dating this woman, you’re going to have to work out a fix.

Downplay It

Once she finds out you’re still friends with an ex, she’s going to start assuming the worst. What you need to do is downplay the entire situation. Make it sound like the ex is just a casual acquaintance even if she isn’t. You want her to think that your relationship with your ex is small and insignificant.

Focus on Her

"Dude, leave your phone to get her interest back"

“Dude, leave your phone to get her interest back”


Make a point of emphasizing how much you like everything about her. Compliment her. When you’re together, focus on making her realize how much your relationship means. If she’s got all of your attention, she’ll be less likely to dwell on your ex.

Don’t Make Comparisons

Never, ever draw comparisons between your current girlfriend and your ex. Even if you’re in the middle of a fight, it’s a very bad idea. Not only is going to make her feel shitty, it’s going to make it sound like you still think of your ex in that way.

Don’t Text the Ex

Figure 3

“She’ll be suspicious if you text your ex in front of her”

It might be normal for you and your ex to platonically text back and forth all day, but if you do it with your new flame you’re asking for trouble. Put your phone on vibrate or just put it away somewhere if you and your new girlfriend are hanging out at your place or hers. If you’re out in public somewhere, ignore texts from the ex. Your current flame might question who is texting you. If that happens, chances are you’re going to get in trouble. So to play it safe, just text the ex and tell her you’re going to be busy for the next few hours so that you’re phone remains safely silent.

Don’t Introduce Them

Nothing is going to make your girlfriend feel more insecure than if you introduce her to the ex. Even if you go out of your way to make sure she knows that the ex is just a friend, she’s constantly going to be drawing comparisons. She’ll also be reading into everything that’s said and done way too much. It’s not going to be fun for your ex, either. She’ll probably be aware that she’s the reason that everything is so uncomfortable. Even if you thought it would be fun to all hang out together, it’s a bad idea. Your ex and your current girlfriend should remain separate if you want to keep everyone on good terms.

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